Can I be honest with you for a moment?
Sometimes I forget that people actually see me.
Not in a self-deprecating way. In a genuinely disorienting way. I am over here quietly doubting whether I am doing enough, whether any of this is landing, whether the work I am pouring myself into is actually making a mark on anything or anyone. And then someone will say something that stops me completely. That they found me at exactly the right moment. That something I wrote or said changed something for them. And I genuinely do not know how to receive it because from where I am standing I cannot always see what they are seeing.
I think a lot of people who do this kind of work know exactly what I am talking about.
The outside can look one way. Intentional, grounded, like someone who has it figured out. And the inside can be something else entirely. Simultaneously feeling like you are not doing enough and somehow also doing too much. Running multiple things at once while quietly wondering if any of it is working. Looking capable from the outside while feeling a little raw and unsteady on the inside.
That gap between how things look and how they actually feel is one of the loneliest places to live.
What I am learning, slowly, is that the mark we make is almost never visible to us in the moment we are making it. That the doubt is not evidence of failure. That feeling uncertain does not mean you are doing it wrong. It might just mean you are doing something real.
And that the people who are quietly watching you, who you cannot always see, are often being held by exactly the parts of you that you are most unsure about.
If any of this resonates I would love to know. What does this bring up for you? Do you recognize this gap in your own life?
And if you are new here, welcome.
I am Briaa. Medicine woman, tarot reader, energy practitioner, and the woman behind Ascending Priestess. I have been doing this work for over ten years and offering it publicly for five. I weave tarot, ancestral healing, earth-based practice, and intuitive energy work for people who are ready to stop doing it alone. My work is about returning. To yourself, to your body, to the quiet knowing that has always been there underneath everything else.
If something here is calling to you, I would love to connect.
0 comments