There’s a quiet belief many people carry into their healing journey — especially this time of year — that they must become better before they’re allowed to rest, receive, or belong.
That once they’ve processed enough, released enough, healed enough… then they can exhale.
But this belief is one of the most exhausting stories we tell ourselves.
You do not need to be healed to be whole.
When Healing Becomes Another Standard to Meet
Healing work can be profound, liberating, and necessary.
But when it becomes something you feel you must complete in order to be worthy, safe, or aligned, it stops being supportive.
It quietly turns into another place to perform.
Many people don’t realize how often they postpone rest with thoughts like:
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“I’ll slow down once I work through this.”
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“I just need to get past this block.”
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“I’ll feel safe when I’m more regulated.”
But the truth is, safety is not something you arrive at after healing.
Safety is what allows healing to happen in the first place.
Wholeness Is Not the Absence of Wounds
Being whole does not mean being untriggered, unscarred, or complete.
It means being in relationship with yourself — even when things feel tender, unresolved, or messy. This is where true character development lives and without it we would simply live in a bland state of joy.
Wholeness looks like:
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meeting yourself honestly instead of critically
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letting support in before you’re “ready”
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choosing gentleness without earning it
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allowing yourself to belong exactly as you are
Healing is cyclical. It unfolds in layers.
There is no finish line. They say it really is about the journey and remembering that along the way is the hardest part.🌀
Why So Many People Feel “Not Ready Yet”
“I’m not ready” often isn’t about readiness at all.
It’s about fear, conditioning, and safety.
For many, being seen while still in process feels unsafe — especially if you learned early on that love or approval was tied to performance, composure, or being low-maintenance.
So you wait.
You hold yourself back.
You promise you’ll show up fully later.
But later keeps moving and truthfully when we procrastinate on later its under the assumption we will have "later". Ironic isn't it?
A Different Relationship With Growth
What if growth didn’t require pressure?
What if healing didn’t demand urgency?
What if wholeness was something you practiced, not achieved?
Sometimes the most healing choice is to stop pushing yourself forward and instead allow yourself to be supported here — in the middle, in the uncertainty, in the becoming.
Choosing Spaces That Don’t Require You to Be Fixed
This is why safe containers matter.
Not spaces that promise transformation through intensity, but spaces that honor nervous system pacing, consent, and integration.
Spaces where you are not expected to arrive healed — only present.
This is the foundation behind everything I create, including the Realigned Retreat. Not as a place to “do the work,” but as a place to be held while the work integrates naturally.
Before You Go
If you’re waiting for permission to slow down, let this be it.
You don’t need to be healed to be worthy of rest.
You don’t need to be finished to belong.
You don’t need to push to be allowed peace.
Wholeness is not something you earn.
It’s something you remember.
If this resonates, you’re welcome to explore upcoming retreats, workshops, and other services through Ascending Priestess. These offerings are created for those who value depth, safety, and integrity over urgency. Come as you are, however that may be.